Any teacher worth his or her salt is always asking if their teaching is effective. We hear all the talk behind ongoing assessment, both informal and formal, as well as formative and summative assessment. I won't bore you with what any good teacher should know. We know that we should always be trying to figure out what our kids know, and diagnose what they are having issues with. That information should drive our instruction.
I don't know if it is because it is that time for state standardized testing or what, but I am really questioning my teaching. I always wonder if I gave my kids enough. Did I challenge them enough? Did I give them enough opportunities to develop their skills?
I don't wait on coaches or supplies that are promised, but slow to come. Ultimately, my kids are my responsibility. I don't know what else I have to do, short of send "Bill" everyday to the coaches with picket signs bearing threats if "a change doesn't come" in order to get my "coaches" to get up and get on it. There is never time. I mean, there is time for third and fifth, but we are the stepchildren. How can I give my students resources and that extra instruction if I am never given what I need-whether it be time or resources? It isn't always about resources. At this date, it is mostly planning. We put on this big show about lesson plans and how important they are, which I also agree. If it is such a priority, then how come we are not given time to plan collaboratively? No time to work with the "experts" aka the coaches. It is always my personal time that I am expected to use. Heaven forbid we actually plan to plan. I am tired. And that is it. I want to grow, and I feel like I am outgrowing the pot I was placed in....
The problems are systematic. I seek growth outside my school because I am not getting what I need there. I am not asking to be spoon-fed. I don't want to be policed. I do, however, want my concerns to be heard and I want some changes. I don't seek this for my comfort, but out of student need. Hello, I thought the kids were the whole point of this all. What was I thinking, encouraging staff development so that we can improve the school for the kids? I am out of control, I know...
I never really desired to go into administration, but now I am considering it. I long to build some systems of order, systems for professional development. I want to create systems that teach teachers how to collaborate, to plan, to find what they need to get their students where they need to go. I want to teach teachers to break down data, and how to make moves so that their kids make gains. I want to gather teachers of a common grade level, then teach them to work vertically. If the coaches aren't going to do it, then they need to go. I thought the whole point was to "coach" us, not "coax us," "control us," or just flat ignore us until something goes wrong. I mean, how many coaches are there? About five million at my school. If everyone is "running" things, who is actually out in the field working? Too many chiefs, not enough....